


I Hate You, I Love You

by sinfuljoshler



Series: song fics [4]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, F/M, Reader-Insert, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuljoshler/pseuds/sinfuljoshler
Summary: I hate you, I love you,I hate that I love youDon’t want to but I can’t put nobody else above youI hate you, I love you,I hate that I want youYou want her, you need herAnd I’ll never be her





	

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for reader suicide.

Y/N watched Tyler kiss Jenna on stage. It wasn’t surprising, but it did hurt. She’d always wanted him. She’d wanted him ever since her best friend Josh had introduced her to Tyler. Everything about Tyler pulled her in. His mannerisms, his quirks, his smile…

As much as Y/N wanted to, she couldn’t hate Jenna. Jenna was so beautiful, so sweet and pure. No one in this world could possibly have the ability to hate her. She could see the way Tyler looks at her. He looked at her like he was seeing the world for the first time. He looked at her like she was his freedom, his anchor, his everything.  

Y/N could never be Jenna. So, Y/N did what she did best. She was his friend, and only his friend. Josh could see how much pain she was in. He could see how much this unrequited love was hurting her. Josh couldn’t pull her away. 

* * *

Y/N watched Jenna and Tyler kiss and giggle in the backseat of a car. She turned away, feeling a crack spread over her heart. She was so stupid, to think that she deserved Tyler. She didn’t deserve anything. She traced patterns on the window. They stayed there, imprinted in the frost. 

Josh could see what was wrong. He couldn’t help, all he could do was watch. He could see how much worse Y/N was getting with each passing day. There was nothing he could do. 

The car parked in front of the venue, and Josh tapped Y/N’s shoulder. She shot him a timid smile. She got out of the car, walking to the venue. Josh took her hand, kissing her forehead. She smiled, leaning into her. 

“You okay?” Josh asked. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She lied. 

She felt tears welling in her eyes just from thinking about all of the reasons why she wasn’t. She lacked everything Jenna had, including that dorky boy named Tyler. Josh didn’t say anything else, he didn’t want to upset her more. 

Y/N sat on a stool next to Jenna, watching the boys practice. Jenna didn’t make any attempt to talk to Y/N. Jenna wasn’t trying to be rude, she was just very distracted by how awful Y/N looked. She’d definitely lost weight, dark circles lay under her sad eyes. 

Y/N suddenly stood up, walking out of the room they were in. No one really noticed except Jenna. Jenna didn’t mention it. She was sure Y/N was fine. Y/N had their driver take her to a bar. Her pale lips traced into a small smile. A simple ‘thank you’ slipped through. 

Y/N got out of the car, walking into the bar and immediately buying an entire bottle of liquor for herself. She took it to the bathroom, sitting on the floor. No one was going to look for her anyways. She heard something shake in her pocket, and pulled the object out. Sleeping pills. Josh must have given them to her. He must have noticed she wasn’t sleeping. 

Her drunken mind stumbled into dark places. Wouldn’t it be better to end it? End herself? She wouldn’t have to deal with this constant pain, Tyler would be free to love Jenna without thinking of anyone else, and Josh wouldn’t have to worry about Y/N. She swallowed all of the pills without thinking. She didn’t even consider other options. Maybe she was desperate.

She polished off the bottle and drew her knees up to her chest. Everything would be better now. She heard the door open, but ignored it. 

“Y/N?” She heard Tyler’s voice ask. 

She ignored him, it had to be a hallucination. She felt a hand touch her cold cheek. She opened her eyes to see a crying Tyler. He was holding the empty pill bottle in his hand.

“W-why would you do this?” He whispered. 

“Because I’m a selfish human being. I keep forgetting you’re not an object. You’re not something I can just take. You make your own choices. I can’t make you love me.” She whispered back, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She could feel herself slipping. She was so tired. Tyler cupped her cheeks. “Please don’t go.” He begged.

“It’s my time, Tyler.” She said.

Tyler hugged her tightly, sobbing into her shoulder. He’d loved her, maybe not the way he loved Jenna, but he had feelings for Y/N that were undeniable. He held her until she stopped breathing, which wasn’t very long. Josh came into the bathroom, seeing Y/N’s still body laying on the floor and his best friend sobbing into his hands. 

“She’s gone, Josh! It’s all my fault!” Tyler sobbed.

And Josh didn’t know what to do.


End file.
